Alone again
by StylinShrimp
Summary: The members of "Angel Investigations" deals with the loss Angel's child


1 Alone Again  
  
The lobby was filled with a solemn, deafening silence. In it, four figures sat, looking down at their hands. Fred wiped a few tears from her eyes, and Gunn moved to hold her in his strong arms. Lorne, usually the more chipper of the group, was left speechless.  
  
However, there was an unspoken separation of Wesley from this group. Once regarded as one of the leaders, his betrayal now made him an outsider. No one had spoken anything of this yet, but still, everyone refused to make any eye contact with the ex-watcher.  
  
There were three members of "Angel Investigations" who were missing from this gathering. There was Cordelia, who was vacationing with the Grusulag. There was also Angel, who had fled to his room to grieve over the loss of the third missing member, his son, Connor.  
  
Wesley rested his fingertips on the bandage wrapped around his neck, covering the knife wound he had received earlier, and spoke softly.  
  
"I was only trying to protect him."  
  
Everyone looked up at this, the first sound anyone had made, save a few sniffles from Fred. Gunn looked at Wesley with an anger and hatred in his eyes that would melt steel. Fred saw the look, and rested one of her tiny hands on his shoulder to steady him.  
  
"We know, Wesley." Fred sniffled, not sounding like she entirely believed what she was saying. Gunn swung his gaze to the young girl in his arms, giving her a speak-for-yourself look.  
  
"I doubt Angel will be so understanding." Gunn grumbled at Wesley, before turning his attention back to his girlfriend.  
  
Wesley would normally have given the couple a look for their displays of affection, but after the evening's events his jealousy was the furthest thing from his mind.  
  
"I'm going to go talk to him. Make sure he's okay." Wes sighed as he lifted himself from the chair. His stomach was in knots. He knew that Angel was going to be quite upset; hell, he would consider himself lucky if he left the conversation in one piece.  
  
'But he has to know I only did this for Connor's own good.' Wesley thought as he plodded up the stairs.  
  
"Nice knowing you." Wesley heard Gunn yell at his back. The Englishman paused for a second on the steps, and it took everything not to respond with "We can only hope." Taking another deep breath, Wesley ascended the rest of the stairs.  
  
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Angel sat hunched over on the side of one of the beds, his attention completely focused on the object in his hands; a small, stuffed panda belonging to Connor. He had rested himself on his elbows, which in turn rested on his knees, and his forearms were held in front of him. He held the panda in his fingertips, and played with it with his long fingers, rotating between stroking the animal and simply moving it around in his hands, as if he had never seen a stuffed animal before. His deep, chocolate eyes were wide with pain and sadness as he looked at the stuffed animal like he hoped it would magically transform into his son.  
  
Angel's position remained unchanged at the sound of timid knocking at the door, followed by the creaking as it opened. As he sensed someone advancing toward him, he raised his eyes to meet the visitor: Wesley. Upon seeing the Englishman, Angel's somber expression suddenly turned to one of fury.  
  
"Get out." Angel growled and turned his attention back to the bear.  
  
Wesley took a breath and stepped toward his friend. "Angel, I thought you should…"  
  
"Are you deaf?" Angel said with a sneer, "I said get out!"  
  
"Angel," Wesley said firmly, "you need to know why…"  
  
"Why what!" Angel growled again as he shot up, throwing the stuffed animal to the floor, "Why you went behind my back to my enemy? Why you stole my son from under my nose? Why you betrayed our trust in the WORST way possible?"  
  
Wesley cringed at the attacks and closed his eyes. "I was trying to protect him."  
  
"Well you did a FINE job of it!" Angel fumed, " Now, because of you, he's gone! My son," Angel let out a sudden sob and his voice softened, "my baby...is gone." He looked back down at the discarded stuffed animal.  
  
Wesley now had some tears in his eyes, a few stray ones falling down his cheek. "I never meant for any of this to happen."  
  
"Well it did." Angel said, anger creeping back into his voice. He turned sharply to Wesley; "I want you gone!" He advanced quickly toward Wesley until they were almost nose to nose; "Do you hear me?! Get out! This is YOUR fault!" Angel's voice was now almost screeching, "I lost the one thing I loved, more than ANYTHING, and it's your fault! It's your fault I'm alone again! It's your fault! It's all your fault!! It's…"  
  
Angel was suddenly silent, as the agony of his situation overtook his being. His face contorted in sadness and the vampire let out a hoarse cry of pain and agony before collapsing to his knees in a fit of sobs. Wesley didn't know whether to console or not, so he simply stood above the sobbing demon, the stony glance he had had in his eye the past few days now gone. He didn't turn to the sounds of people clomping up the stairs. Instead, he stepped back as Fred, Gunn, and Lorne rushed past him to Angel, who was now lying in a fetal position on the floor.  
  
Wesley turned away from the crowd and plodded back down the stairs, dropping himself onto one of the couches. Cordelia was to come home later, giddy and bubbly until she sensed something was amiss. She would then hear the story from Fred or Gunn, and grieve with them. Until then, Wesley sat in the lobby.  
  
Alone. 


End file.
